Hello again reader. Sorry for the late post (again (;~_~)!), it was a busy day yesterday, AGAIN.

Honestly, this whole week was a busy mess, given exams are right around the corner now, one of them next week, and god knows I am NOT ready for that one.

I have been making progress though :0.

Its hardware, which you may remember me completely ragging on for how unstructured and messy it all was at the time that we took the exam. Regardless, I started studying for it this week, earlier than the last exam cause im gonna need it, and come to find out after binge studying from semester 1 week 1 to a couple weeks ago from now that it ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE :v.

I guess this is just how it is to learn something, its normal, but its honestly like I was in a fugue state when I was trying to learn it, not understanding any of what we were doing, having fallen off track.

But now that im studying each slide again, you cant miss the details that are important for understanding the rest of the material (like the basics of assembly and hack VM code) and there IS a clearly defined structure to how we learn stuff, at least mostly in the middle between semester 1 and semester 2.

You start with basic computer knowledge, into nand2tetris and experimenting with gates to make the PC while learning about creating finite state machines, into the assembly code that the logic for our ALU and whole PC support, then the assembly code into the higher level hack VM HOLY HELL ITS SO COOL >:).

Its tough as fuck as well, but I guess that just comes with the territory, having to learn all this so fast alongside all the theory that we started doing week 2.4 or 5 onwards.

Anywho, the studying has been going well is what I mean, especially AT the university. Whenever im there, I tend to go to this one spot where I can use the PC’s and its AWESOME, its my favorite spot and the lock in is unparalleled. Im thinking of going there after this post is done, but I also dont want to waste the money to go soooooooooooooooo—

—Idk. Ill have to think about it more.

On the one hand, it feels as though the amount of people around me when im there working their asses off, the setup itself, and the very distinct lack of a bed to sink into helps A LOT in terms of getting stuff done, I cant imagine how else I would have studied for HOURS like that in the day and still be willing to continue regardless (though im sure some of it is also that im not hating every minute of it). The dual monitors is just calling my name >.>.

On the other hand, I really should be able to do that at home too, right? I feel like its a pretty annoying thing NOT to be able to get that eternally beautiful lock-in in your own room if need be, and I CAN, its just that I dont ;n_n.

Oh well, that’s future me’s problem, ill figure that out by the end of the post.

So how about a pivot? Would you believe me if I told you I also watched the first season if beastars the other day?

I enjoyed it a lot! If you dont know, its an animal world where carnivores sometimes let their instincts kick in and eat the herbivores, which causes a LOT of tension, and the main plot point is this wolf who wants to get with a rabbit.

It’s also a high school drama, AS WELL AS a slight murder mystery, since a big point that hasnt been solved yet (and i can only imagine will start to unravel next season) is that one of friends of the wolf, legoshi, died episode 1, in literally the opening scene of the show.

Yay :’D.

O also the MAFIA for some fucking reason????

Yea, the show is a lot of things, and YEA it juggles them well, I felt it was all quite nicely knit together. Everything ties back to the main question of the day, that being legoshi’s nature as a carnivore (or perhaps lack thereof). He seemingly fights it a lot at the start, a nervous wreck who’s trying to manage but cant help screw things up at times and lashes out, but ultimately with the purest of intentions.

And look, in the social anxiety regard, especially when he was in his head monolouging, especially with some of the other relevant characters, I FELT for this motherfucker, that shit was painfully real to me I genuinely felt that anxiety on my nerves. I think that aspect of legoshi was really fun.

On the other hand, HOW DID WE PROGRESS SO FAST IN THE RELATIONSHIP. I didnt quite get that.

I get that the dude realizes he likes haru, and I get that he was then steeled himself up to confess, but wasnt the scene where he told her to meet him tomorrow a confession of its own? And the girl didnt really seem that into it, at least not until she was damsel-ed by the plot I feel, it was mostly louie she was into b4 that right?

Idk, that part was a bit odd to me, but then again, a lot of the show is quite odd and its awesome.

Im still wrapping my head around the whole carnivore/herbivore dynamic, and what the hell to make of legoshi’s internalized hatred of himself. I still dont know what to make of louie, his opposite, this weak but stern honestly a bit vile deer trying to become the school lead, the beastar, but with quite a fucked up interior to him (but after what he’s been through, who wouldnt be?).

Theres’s a LOT to chew on, and I still dont know what it all means. For me, so far, a big part of it is this story using animality to discuss a character’s deep seated shame of being himself, with it bleeding into how he percieves and treats others, but even that in itself is a vague description.

When I say this, I moreso refer to his inability to express himself and his personality like other characters, a good example of which being his tendency to please everyone around him and make them feel safe than just BE there, he doesn’t encompass the world normally like any other person, doesnt show his fangs. Probably because he knows that he can hurt people, and is scared of that, or that some wont like or want him to be himself, and it makes him not want to participate, even if he’d never hurt anyone he cares about willingly. He feeds into that narrative.

He cares and its killing him, he’s a big fluffy mess and I love him for that <3.

Also, haru was also a really fun character to follow, a relatively promiscuous girl just trying to go about with her life in a world where she could die any second cause of the bloodlust of the few is a genuinely distressing place to be, and I enjoyed getting to see her thoughts and personality shine through, as well as her own really fun monolouging.

You get the impression from her monologue of just how differently everyone was raised too, especially haru as a rabbit compared to even other herbivores (who all get fucked in their own way). That lingering dread, of imminent danger is always over her head, of bad people, and the society hasnt really given her the tools to defy people like the mafia you know? She just gets… kidnapped. Like that. They mayor doesnt even give a shit compared to the festival.

Its poignant (but also felt contrived to get louie out of the picture so legoshi x haru could thrive, especially in the rest of the execution, but thats just how I felt personally).

Honestly, I wish we’d get even more from haru as well, though I heard that we do in the manga, so maybe I’ll pivot to there instead of the 2nd season, who knows.

But at the very least im DEFINITELY gonna pivot for the third season, cause I heard the condensed over 10 volumes into one season and just rushed the ending and I am NOT gonna bother with that, no thank you.

Anywho, I think that’s all from me for this week, I hope you enjoyed the quick rant about beastars, but I do have to get back to studying after all :v. Ill try studying at home for now, but ill probably head out to buy some CD’s anyways, Im really tempted to buy the new underscores album if the CD place in town has it, who knows.

Okay no who am I kidding, TIME TO LOCK IN >:).

See you all next week.