Hi again. Yea I kinda put this off for a little bit, i’ll just come out and say it because it seems I CAN NOT keep my word. I DIDNT GO TO PIANO CLASSES.

Look I swear I have a reason this time. In the weeks that I have bbeen gone I started saving for a keyboard, and I know I had said that I would start classes first but honestly? I can not imagine coming home after a session, then just not being able to practice because I dont own a piano. So, ive been waiting. and in the meantime putting this off :p.

Then a couple of days ago I called my parents, and brought up that earlier that day I went to a local store and planned on getting a piano. THEYRE INSISTING I DONT. Not because they dont want me to play, but because we have one at home and they would rather I take it and save the money. Thing is, I AGREE. Im not greedy or anything, and even if the one we have at home would be worse than the one id buy now, it doesnt really matter until im actually invested and properly studying consistently. Thats not my problem. My problem is its highly likely im just not going to be able to ship it. I mean come on, have you shipped a keyboard before? I wanted to ship the PC but my dad refused, hiding behind the fact that it’d be “impossible” to ship even though its just because he thought id slack off, but now he thinks I can ship a keyboard? Look, its not like he HID behind the fact, its a mix of both factors, he both knows itd be hard to ship AND doesnt want me slacking off, so I know the whole PC thing was more nuanced, but its weird how agreeable it is that were just gonna ship the pc now, since we have family that worked at airlines TELL US TO BUY A NEW ONE. You see my uncomfortability here? Let me be frank with this.

Im confident they dont know what theyre talking about.

It isnt a bad thing, I DONT EITHER, THATS WHY WE ASKED THE RELATIVE. And thats why my faith in them is in a weird spot. Because for as long as I agree to it, obviously I cant buy one, why would I? But also, I doubt they know the logistics of this and know theyll just try and figure it out when the time comes, and whether or not itll work, I dont know. Safe to say that if it doesnt, some amount of time was wasted for nothing. Then again it isnt the biggest deal in the world, just fun to rant about it =).

How about I start this post off like I shouldve have near the start of march, ramadan mubarak <3. Its been a fun couple of weeks, definitely new but not in a way that I regret. And let me be clear, though I doubt anybody actually thinks like this even the people who asked directly, I AM NOT DYING OF LONELINESS THANK YOU FOR ASKING. There’s this whole thing of “dont you miss your family D:” yes. Yes I do. That doesnt really need to be said but also im totally fine as is. Its more being asked in the context of ramadan, since I should be eating with others on maghrib prayer, but I quite enjoy eating on my own. Just today I had some air fried chicken tenders (god bless the invention) with chips and veggies, chilled and watched some philosophy tube. Stuff is good, life is good. And honestly if we’re delving more into it, life is give and take. I dont get to eat with my family sure, but I have always enjoyed a certain level of comfort when im alone like this. I have no doubt that when I get to travel back home and fast with my family before the end of ramadan ill enjoy myself too but for now, im just gonna enjoy my chicken tenders.

(BTW forgot to mention this but a lot of new friends make life more bearable, not naming names you know yourselves <3)

I guess this still doesnt explain wholly why Ive been gone so long right? well, ill share one more story before I close for the week, since the next couple of days are gonna be filled with a bunch of formative (official) and summative (practice) exams, including a summative in seven hours and 14 minutes from writing this. I got sick, BADLY SICK. Its not necessarily the respiratory tract infection that was the problem though.

I had the pleasure of catching the infection on a friday at the start of march, it was mild. Next day I woke up with a bleeding headache, you know the one, you move even an inch and suddenly your head’s trying to be a heartbeat? It was miserable, then it went back to mild the next day only to be followed up with nausea and a lot, and I mean A LOT of coughing. That stuck and simmered down for the next 6 days or so, so about 8 days of dealing with it. Thing is, from telling you this you probably wouldnt imagine that id be absent from classes for two days right? I mean, other than the the saturday with the headache and the sunday where the sausea and coughing would be at its worst, why be absent for monday and tuesday. Well, I had to somewhat learn this myself.

If you dont already know im asthmatic, diagnosed since forever ago. The medication hasnt been helping all too much, not necessarily its fault though. it just sparks up at bad times. It can get bad ill admit, but never to a point I cant just take a puff of my inhaler and push through it. As you can Imagine though, that and a respiratory tract infection didnt mesh well, its sort of multiplicative given the fact that it makes my asthma much more frequent, and coughing needs immediate attention via inhaler, AND THE WEATHER IS COLD. You see where im going with this? Its not fun, but we arent done. In getting proof for my illness, the several fatigued days in bed that I could barely get any sleep in, with my wrecked and wretched throat, not finding the enregy to do anything in the day or night, I come to find one very important bit of information. I left this out, but my mucus has been HORRIBLE. if youve known me for the past couple of years you know this, it got really bad when I moved to riyadh, and since then has continually gotten worse. Its a big hindrance on sleep, and even in the day im constantly snacking on my own mucus, its DISGUSTING. Funny thing too, it gets really bad WHEN I LEAVE THE HOUSE. AS IN, the moment I leave the house even if I cleared my nose, I almost immediately need to use tissue since my nose single-handedly now wants to cause a tsunami. And after going through some old radiology results my mom sent to prove to the study centre im asthmatic, guess what I find?

Allergic rhinitis.

This whole fucking time, not treating it or anything (at least not past the point it was diagnosed in riyadh and I got like a months worth of medicine at best for it not even knowing it was treating asthma AND allergic rhinitis) THIS WHOLE TIME. IVE BEEN EATING PEOPLES EARS OFF OVER THIS, AND I GOT DIAGNOSED MONTHS IF NOT A YEAR AGO ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME >>:(.

I’ve had this duo of mucus filled lungs AND asthmatic jackassery for like 2 years now, AND I ONLY FIND OUT WHEN IM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OF THE TRIFORCE OF TRACHEAL LOBOTOMY, FUCKING KILL ME.

And man, if only i had known this ONE PIECE OF INFO, can you imagine HOW MANY LESS SLEEPLESS NIGHTS COULDVE BEEN AVOIDED? CONSTANTLY EXHALING OUT OF MY NOSE FROM THE AMOUNT OF SHIT IN THERE, disturbing everyone for what now amounts to NO GOOD REASON. ALL THOSE GODDAMN NOSE BLEEDS, STILL ONGOING NOSEBLEEDS.

I could go on about how these all compounded each other, or just how miserable asthma and allergic mucus are as a combo on their own, and maybe I will later but I think you understand intuitively how these things mesh greatly together, if your sole goal was to ruin a mans nose lungs and circadian rythm without using cigarettes or vapes. Lets just get the message through for now that its mostly over, things are getting better.

Im on stronger medication, and even though im still on the fence about how the nasal spray is helping the inhaler is much better. It was the right call to get the NHS involved, god bless their hearts and souls for actually getting shit done, even if they are a bit slow. It was especially great since I needed it to get the study centre to accept the two absences, though thats another possibly more infuriating story for another day. I gotta go sleep for the mock writing quiz.

Its been fun writing again, but I got serious(ish) writing tmr and A LOT of work over the next two weeks. I wont skimp out on the next to posts though, Ill try my best I can promise that much. Thanks for reading, see you next week :).