4 Days Left.

Its happening, and it’s happening on wednesday. First day of the course isnt until the 25th but ill at least be there by the 21st and will see some of london on the way, not taking all the stops to leeds directly but instead just going to london and then taking a train there. But damn, 4 DAYS. LIKE, 4. 1 2 3 4 FOUR. HOLY SHIT. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT. FOUR DAYS LEFT, SINGLE DIGIT LESS THAN 5 ALMOST 3 HOW. HOOOOOOOOOW.

I havent packed anything, will start tomorrow. Nervous but VERY excited.

New asahi linux patch LINUX GAMING LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO >:))). Its work in progress, some stuff still crashes but idc, its such a big leap and im so happy to be a part of it. Currently theres a bug on brave browser though that makes it so I keep getting an error on any webpage a minute or so after loading it, doesnt matter tbh. Im gonna switch to firefox anyways.

I know I keep mentioning spotify I KNOW but I just figured out where the album and song recomendations are, and its wild how many good recommendations there are its awesome, genuinely awesome :p. I think ive made it quite clear by now but it’s LEAGUES better than youtube music, HOW THE HELL were ANY reviewers on youtube saying otherwise??? Even saying they’re equal is doing spotify dirty.

That being said, I honest to god want to calculate how much itd cost me to buy all the songs I listen to. I made a bunch of playlists of my music already, although there are a few im not happy with that are private(and one public as well but Ill just keep it up and modify), once im done ill take all the songs and tally up the prices to see if its worth it. No doubt all the albums I mentioned before id want to get and a couple more, but is it even feasable to do right now? Definetely not, but itd be nice to see the price and slowly faze it in as I save some money on the side for bandcamp purchases. Eventually, Ill have it all, and I wont stream squat >:). Will probably still keep spotify around to share my playlists with friends though, and discover new music.

OK can we talk about webfishing though, CAN WE? Its all ive been sending on my snap streak for 4 days now, I HAVE A PROBLEM. I fucking love the game. Its soothing in a way that no other game I play is(admittedely I dont play more laidback games like webfishing to begin with), the art IS SO COOL, I absolutely adore it. Ive been playing solo for a while just getting money to customize my character, but honestly I feel like ive gotten far enough so ill start joining some public servers. Its really fun just fishing listening to podcasts, you NEED to try it if youve read this far. Ive been listening to jaltoid’s the animated podcast, which is weird given my history with them. I remember getting suggested their really inappropriate thumbnails back in like 10th grade, and now im listening to their podcasts XD. To be clear I DID NOT WATCH THE SNIPPERCLIPS VIDEOS, I REPEAT I DID NOT EVEN TOUCH THEM. Would be lying if I said they didnt grab my attention when I saw them though, especially because I WAS PLAYING IT WITH MY SISTER AT THE TIME, LIKE WHAT THE HELL JALTOID?!?! RUDE >:(.

And just to be clear, although I get the format of these posts suggests that right now im just talking about a game I like, this is no longer me simply talking about the game, GO BUY IT. IM NOT FUCKING JOKING, ITS LESS THAN 5 BUCKS. Come join me. Im waiting, itll be fun. Drop me a dm on discord and lets chill and fish as drunk cats and dogs, itll be fun :D.

One more thing before I go for the week, and see you guys in leeds :o. I honestly want to redo the website, and no I probably wont be renewing the wordpress subscription. Thing is, I dont think ive done as much as ive wanted to with this site. When I first did it, it was because network chucks video on the topic suggesting everyone should have a site. I saw it, and with my free time said “why not?”. Fleshed the site out a little over a day or two, but I never feel like I made it to my liking. Feels like there more potential in the site.

And although my reason for starting is a totally fine reason to start this whole thing, now that ive seen other peoples sites im starting to realize that, having your own site and customizing it to fit you, has the potential to be SO much more than it is now, I mean HAVE YOU SEEN some of the neocitites sites people have made??? Its as though the site is literally an extension of yourself, whereas I just chose whichever theme I liked the best from wordpress’s limited selection since I didnt pay them for their highest subscription plan.Not the worst thing in the world, but this could be so much more. I dont want to just pick and choose what wordpress gives, I want the site to be more than just a blog(although its definetely not going away, speaking my mind like this on a weekly basis has been really good for me :)), with it’s own theming, cursor, all sorts of different pages to fiddle with and shrines, and a whole aesthetic you know? you dont get that with wordpress, or squarespace. A lot of the soul you can pour into a project like a website gets limited to what the company your paying provides you, it isnt YOU. This isnt all that me. I mean, it is. Its not like I didnt put effort, but not nearly as much as I should have. Just a couple of days is what it took to make this, but you can tell that a website can be SO MUCH MORE, right?

Admittedely, its gonna be hard. VERY hard. Learning the code isnt even my biggest concern on this front, even if it is difficult its the kind of difficult I can get through. Thats not what bothers me. Its the creativity. I dont feel im nearly as creative as I wish I were or need to be to make it to my liking, not anywhere near the scale of those whove made the amazing sites that gave me the inspiration to want to create my own fully fleshed site, or on a wider scale, any of the artists I follow. GOD I DONT EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I DREW ITS BEEN MONTHS. I really need to get over this if I wanna start making stuff, and right now im just not sure how. Am I complaining too much? Probably. I just need to get back to watching markowsky’s videos, and get my sketchbook and supplies back on my desk and not hidden at the back of my cabinets for a start. It’s really that easy if I wanna start drawing again. Ill do it, but then how about the website? How do you plan out the look and feel of A WHOLE SITE, from NOTHING? As lifeless as wordpress and squarespace sites are compared to their built from scratch counterparts, their UNIVERSES easier. For that, I dont really have the answer. Ill just have to start doing it I guess. More research, less mulling over it and keeping it as just a thought , more experimentation. Not much more to say other than that, Ill look into it and try to do more than I am now and hope for the best :). Planning out the site sounds fun, so ill do some more research on cool personal sites and see what I wanna do then, plan things past that point. it’ll be fun :].

(Okay I can’t stop thinking about this paragraph and it’s 3:10 am and I should be asleep but give me a moment. What do I even mean by creativity? I mean, it seems like I’m just using it as this vague term to demean my art, which yea isn’t good yet by any means, but will get more “creative” the better I get at art fundamentals, no? Like, take aimkid as an example. Contrast the newest lemon demon animation with the oldest, was he less creative in the oldest or was he just less experienced? Does it come with experience? Is it cultivated overtime for seperate reasons I’m not seeing, does everyone have an innate creative bits and bops they learn to output into their medium more vividly overtime? Can you learn to be a creative or a more creative person???? I hope what I’m saying is even coherent, but the more I think about this insecurity the more I realize how vague it is, as though I’m insulting myself without even understanding the full depth of what im saying, because I probably don’t. Maybe im not as creatively bankrupt as I claim to be, and it’s a matter of experience/ letting myself make bad art, which tbh I don’t do. To you as the reader it might be apparent by now but for a long time I’ve exclusively drawn through markowsky and his guides, I cant remember the last time I drew for the hell of it because I DONT TRUST THE OUTPUT. I’ve drawn MUCH better since it was through his guides, and honestly I haven’t given myself the time to do the homework and draw on my own and for the fun of it. Thing is now when I do draw on my own, it turns out a lot worse than with markowskys lessons. Is that the problem? If I let go of that restraint, even if the creation was bad, won’t the output and creativity get better slowly but surely? Id hope so, and I’m sure in hindsight it’ll be obvious but right now it’s past midnight, I’m sleepy and don’t got a clue on how to go about the subject ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I’ll actually go to bed now though, so even though I say goodbye literally next paragraph, goodnight and goodbye again :p)

That’s all for now. I was gonna talk about some books I bought recently, but ill just leave that for another time. Hopefully, one day people will be reading these post-new site posts on my own built from scratch site and not from wordpress, and ill have taken all of these posts and ported them over. That project still has a lot of work ahead of it before its possible, im betting on it though. Thanks for reading, see you in leeds :).