The vacation is finally over, if only I could have an extra month. It’s been amazing. Learning about myself and the space I’ve had to do what I want, I love it. Shame we’ll be back to school tomorrow, but it just means I can take everything I’ve learned and incorporate it into my school life. And that’s a nice plus.

For one, I’m actually beginning to really enjoy drawing. It’s been really fun despite my level, and learning to ignore how good I am for the sake of trying to draw things I think look cool is really refreshing. Not to say I won’t try to learn still, but I’ll be giving myself much more leeway to mess around now.

And about fun in terms of hobbies, I hope to find intrinsic motivation in all the things I need to do in my day to day, considering a lot of the academic work I do is just for the sake of my family, and I don’t have fun doing it that way.

And I started the CS50 course. It was really fun! I had way lower expectations for how it’d be in terms of engagement, but I managed to finish the problem set relatively early in the week rather than postpone it. Although C in week 1 will be harder, I cant wait to try it.

Something else that’s popped up too is just how much damage following the people surrounding the manosphere did to me, that being andrew tate, sneako, and hamza. It baffles me that I even thought of tate and sneako as even somewhat respectable, the way they took simple truths and twist them to fit their agenda, to push all these ideals on you(the most especially egregious about women) is disgusting. Im happy I can acknowledge that now though, and stop listening to such copious amounts of bullshit. It’s been a long time since I’ve followed them, but I still love to be able to say that ik far away from it now, and will continue to be

Hamza isn’t horrible, of all 3 he’s helped me the most in life. Proper sleep and working out being the two biggest benefits to my following of him, but his habit of sharing complete nonsense broscience just threw me away from it all, and I don’t really agree with the idea of striving for ultimate masculinity and the idea of masculine feminine polarity. I just wanna be myself. Figure out the parts of me that are and aren’t me, rather than chase this illusory goal of “being a masculine man”.

That all being said, I’ve already unplugged myself from the self help sphere and any notion of it, from now on I want to live by my own judgement.

That being said it’s time I sleep for school tomorrow. Here’s some photos I took on a walk today to end the post, have a great day :).